Is it really that time of year again? Yes, it is! It’s time to go back to school. I have one more week until I have students back in my classroom. I know many of my friends already have students back. 

The amazing friends in my Bible Study helped me paint my classroom so it has a lovely face-lift. I spent last week setting up my room. I’m not done, but I’ve made a good start. I have had a week of meetings and trainings….some great, some felt like a waste of my time.  I still have another week of meetings and trainings. All of these things have one purpose…getting ready to help me and this year’s kids have a great year. 

Every teacher I know comes to this time of year feeling optimistic and hopeful for the new year. I also am hopeful and optimistic, but I also always feel a bit of anxiety. What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t give these kids what they need? What if they come with more emotional baggage than I can handle? Can I be enough for them? These questions have been on the front of my mind all week. 

As I’ve been working in my room I have been listening to worship music on Spotify. Today for the first time (not sure why it hadn’t come on before) I heard “Here Again” by Elevation Worship. 

Here are the abbreviated lyrics:

Can't go back to the beginning
Can't control what tomorrow will bring
But I know here in the middle
Is the place where You promise to be

I'm not enough unless You come
Will You meet me here again
'Cause all I want is all You are
Will You meet me here again

As I walk now through the valley
Let Your love rise above every fear
Like the sun shaping the shadow
In my weakness Your glory appears

I'm not enough unless You come
Will You meet me here again
'Cause all I want is all You are
Will You meet me here again

Not for a minute
Was I forsaken
The Lord is in this place
The Lord is in this place
Come Holy Spirit
Dry bones awaken
The Lord is in this place
The Lord is in this place

I'm not enough unless You come
Will You meet me here again
'Cause all I want is all You are
Will You meet me here again

Music has always been one of the main ways I hear from God. As I heard this song that I’ve sung at church many times, I heard it so clearly. “You can’t do this without me. I’ve never forsaken you, and I won’t start now. Invite me in. Keep me with you. That’s how you can be enough, through me, because I am enough. You can’t control what’s coming, but I am enough for you and for your students.”

Well if that’s not a humbling reminder I don’t know what is. I’m good at praying for my students. Sometimes, though, I try to do it all by myself. I try to solve all of the problems myself. But I don’t have to. God doesn’t WANT me to. He wants me to bring it to Him.

I have children in my class this year that I won’t be enough for. Their issues are too big for me. I don’t mean I can’t teach them the 2nd grade TEKS. I mean, some of them are coming to me with heartbreakingly devastating life stories. Some of these children have home lives and situations outside of the safe walls of our school that would rip your heart out. Some of these children have already been diagnosed with emotional and/or mental disorders and challenges that will make every day harder for them than I will ever fully understand. I am not enough for these kids. I am not a miracle worker. It can feel completely overwhelming to know that every single child in my class needs me, needs my attention, needs my affection, needs what I can teach them – but there will be a handful that can’t even get to that point because of all the other stuff in the life. Alone, I will never ever be enough for them.

What a blessed RELIEF to be reminded today that I don’t need to be enough for them. I serve a God who loves them bigger and better than I could ever love them. HE is enough for them and for me. And He wants me to give this to Him so that He can shine through.

This afternoon as this continued to sit with me, I was hit with another thought. This isn’t just about my class. I will never be enough for my own children either – AND I DON’T HAVE TO BE. He’s enough for them too. Talk about having a weight lifted. Before those three beautiful girls were ever mine, they were His. He loves them a million times more that I do – and I would give my life for those girls. He is enough for them. He is enough for me. He is enough for you. HE IS ENOUGH. PERIOD.

Ok, sorry, I didn’t mean to get preachy there. I’ve just been overwhelmed with this today and wanted to share it in case you needed to hear it too.

My prayer as I start this year is that I can daily keep giving it to Him and that He will work in my students’ lives and that He will use me. That’s my prayer for myself and my class. It’s also my prayer for my fellow teachers and their classes.  I pray that I am able to daily remember that I don’t have to be enough for anyone, because HE is.

I had the opportunity to go on a trip that I wasn’t 100% sure about to start, but turned out to be one of the best trips.

In recent years I have discovered that I enjoy hiking. Even MORE recently I’ve discovered that I actually enjoy camping! Who would have thought?!?! Ask my mom and dad…certainly I’ve surprised them with this new found love of the outdoors!

So I was invited to a road trip from Houston to New Mexico “somewhere in the mountains” for hiking and camping. The uncertainty of the exact location was honestly the most exciting part! You mean we are just going to drive until we find something we like? Cool! I’m in!!!!

So we started out early Friday morning and drove the most incredible vehicle (more on that later!) and made it all the way to Santa Fe, NM. The best part at this point was that in Amarillo the temperature was 100°, but as we got into New Mexico the temps dropped to 64°!!! As we drove in I remembered driving to Glorieta with my parents when I was a kid. I had forgotten how beautiful it was. I always think of Colorado as a beautiful place for mountain views, but New Mexico is gorgeous!

We got into Santa Fe kinda late and so we got a hotel and spent the night and got ready for the real fun the next day.

Saturday we got up, got some Starbucks (not roughing it yet!), and got started with our drive into the mountains. As we drove up into the Jemez Mountains (pronounced “HAY-mez”) we had the most mesmerizing view of both mountains and valleys. The temps were in the mid 50s and it was WONDERFUL!

We drove until we got to a road that recommended we park and hike. But we didn’t do that. The 4Runner kicked into action and we drove right on up that mountain! We drove about 5 miles and then did pull over and park because we got to a point where vehicles were not allowed. At that point we got our lunches and started a 2 mile hike up the rest of the mountain. When we got to the top of where we were going there was a gorgeous 3 level natural hot spring.

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The hot springs were incredible. And a popular place! I think being there on the Saturday after a holiday was probably why. We didn’t let it stop us though. We kicked off our shoes and got in. It’s incredible to me that the water was coming from inside the earth and yet it felt like a hot tub! We started to hear some thunder and so we decided to hike down and back to the car so we could go find our camp spot.

We weren’t sure what we would find. We had no cell service, but we had a GPS system. We drove around looking and came upon a bunch of cattle on the road. I seemed to be the only amazed and baffled by seeing cattle IN THE MOUNTAINS! Somehow we came upon the most PERFECT camping spot ever. These pictures don’t even come close to doing it justice!

I need to pause here and point out something that I found a bit alarming! There were signs in the Jemez Mountains that warned of all kinds of things….animal crossings of all kinds, sharp curves, etc. It took awhile for me to recognize this one…

Look closely here….be careful of falling rocks…and…motorcycles?!?! Luckily we were not on a motorcycle nor did we actually see one fall, but it was a bit alarming to me!

We had a nice clearing to set our stuff up in. We weren’t within sight of any other humans. And…we overlooked the valley. So we were right on the edge of the mountains and it was breathtaking.

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Because of the rain we had to set up tents instead of using hammocks. Hammocks are by far more comfortable for sleeping, but when it’s raining that’s not the best choice. So we set up tents and realized some of the true badass capabilities of this 4Runner!

First we opened up the rooftop mounted cover and set up the chairs under the cover. Then we went to the back of the vehicle and opened it up. We pulled out the drawer system to find a full refrigerator, a stove, and drawers to hold all of the dry foods, utensils, and other necessities. I was in awe of all the back of this car could hold!

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We began getting dinner ready, played games and just enjoyed the silence. It was drizzling but honestly it didn’t stop us from enjoying every second of the evening!

As is common, once the sun goes down the day for campers comes to an end and we retired to the tents once it was dark. We were tired from the hike and setting up camp and it was in the low 50s and personally, I was glad to get under some blankets!

I never sleep well when I camp because I watch too much Criminal Minds and the cold didn’t help that. However, when the birds woke up in the morning, I woke up with them. I laid there for what seemed like forever and when I finally got up I thought it would be late….nope…it was 6:45am! Time to get started making coffee and hot chocolate. We sat and looked out at the scenery and drank our hot morning drinks. We made eggs and sausage and devoured it!

We discussed what Sunday would hold and decided that as amazing as the Jemez Mountains were, we wanted to explore more and see what else there was. So we packed up camp and headed out. We drove through the village of Jemez and then up to Taos.

Taos was a cute little town with shops and restaurants and lots of places to walk around and explore. So we explored and had lunch. Then we went to find a camp spot.

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We quickly realized that we had hit the jackpot the night before and that Sunday night’s view wasn’t going to be as amazing! We drove around and discovered cows…everywhere!!! They had taken over camp spots. They were not worried about where I was going to sleep, they just roamed wherever they wanted!

In an attempt to find a spot to settle in for the rest of the day, we inadvertently found out the other truly badass part of this 4Runner! We started driving up the mountain and quickly found ourselves completely out of road but not yet out of mountain. So do we turn around and stay on the road? Heck no! This vehicle just plows on through – it needs no road! It was terrifying and thrilling all at once!

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However, we found ourselves deep in the forest and that’s not what we wanted so we drove back to the cow infested area and found a spot with a clearing to set up and as few cow patties and possible.

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We quickly got set up this time, there was no rain and we were getting the hang of it. Then we made steak, asparagus, and potato salad for dinner. It was DELICIOUS and all done out of the back of the 4Runner!!!!

It was cold still but I enjoyed so much being in nature and being in the quiet. It is relaxing in a different way from relaxing at home. There’s no texts or calls. No social media. No chores to be done. Just the sound of birds and wind and quiet.

Monday morning we decided we wanted to try Angel Fire. Angel Fire is usually a place people go to ski but in the off season they use the mountains for hiking, mountain bike trails and zip lines. We took the chair lift up to the top of the mountain and hiked a little and then took it back to the bottom. We discovered there wasn’t really any camping places and to be honest, I think we were all ready for real showers.

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We drove all the way to Amarillo, checked into a hotel and SHOWERED! Like for real got clean! It was lovely. As much as I love being in nature and I don’t mind getting dirty, when it’s time to get clean it makes me soooo happy!!! We had dinner at a restaurant within walking distance and then went back to the hotel to crash!

Tuesday had us on the road back home.

I would be never have arranged this trip on my own. I don’t have the knowledge or the equipment. Oh man am I glad that SOMEONE knows how to plan these trips because it was a wonderful trip and the perfect way to spend a few days out of the Houston heat!

Oh boy! I had no intention of going so long before I finished this up. Not exactly sure what happened! But here we go!

#7 – Technology vs relationships – Technology is necessary in today’s world. However, when it replaces relationships we begin to see problems. Parents can’t be bothered with their kids and so they instantly hand them a device rather the engage the child, teach the child to entertain themselves, or simply allow them to be bored for a bit. I can’t tell you how often a parent picks their child up from school and instead of talking with them about their day, they immediately hand over a device and go back to their own phones. Students don’t know how to interact with each other, don’t understand social cues, and are “bored” if everything doesn’t change every five seconds. I want my students to understand and value technology, but I want them to understand and value human relationships even more. I probably don’t incorporate technology into my classroom as much as I am supposed to, but at 7 and 8 years old I believe that they will have all the time they need on electronic devices.

#8 – Useless trainings – Y’all I like to learn new things. I want to be better at what I do, but when I spend hour upon hour in required trainings that have no practical take away for me, I am frustrated. Teachers spend an incredible amount of time in trainings….especially the first two weeks we return in August. Two weeks of training after training after training. There are trainings during the year as well. Trainings that SOMEONE from the school needs to be at so that our school doesn’t look bad at the district. Trainings that don’t benefit us and aren’t what we want and that take us out of the classroom and away from actual teaching. I am determined to not be a part of this game in the upcoming year. I will choose carefully the trainings I will attend. I am exploring some additional learning on my own that I feel WILL be beneficial.

#9 – Customer Service Mindset – Somewhere along the way we lost the respect and the mindset that we know what we are doing as educators and have let parents start dictating to us. Parents want to tell us what they want their child’s education to look like and we are expected to comply. Parents don’t want their kid to have to do homework at night because they had soccer practice or dance rehearsal…oh and there can’t be any consequences for this or they will go to the administration, or the district. Parents don’t want their kids to have to come to school on time or at all, but expect us to give up our time to catch their child up on anything they missed. I’ve had parents who complain when their child misses out on something despite the fact that I’ve sent multiple reminders. I’ve had parents ask me to send a week’s worth of school work with them on their vacation two weeks before Spring Break because it’s cheaper than actually going during Spring Break….only to come back with almost none of it done. We don’t hold parents accountable and we aren’t treated as if we know how to do our jobs.

#10 – Mental and Physical Health – Being a teacher is not a 7:30-3:30 job. I didn’t become a teacher expecting it to be. What I didn’t realize was that it is a 24/7 job at times. I wake up thinking about lessons, co-workers, students, etc and go to bed thinking about them as well. It is easy to get wrapped up school being your whole life. It is easy to not take care of yourself…mentally and physically. I work really hard to keep a balance between work and personal life. Some times I do a really good job of it…sometimes I realize I need to do a better job of keeping balance in my life.

Hope King in Wild Card says, “If you are comfortable you are no longer growing.” I think she’s right – the only way to keep growing is to get uncomfortable. Many of these 10 things in the last three posts are things that make us uncomfortable, which means they are opportunities for growth. I, for one, am glad for opportunities to grow even when it’s hard. I can do hard things.

As always, I’m interested in your thoughts and comments.

So it’s storming HARD tonight which stirs up tons of anxiety in me and keeps me from sleeping so I thought this would be a good time to continue my post about why I’m still teaching in this messed up system we have. 

Yesterday I talked about the first three reasons (class size, respect, and testing) that I see that are reasons that teachers are leaving the classroom. 

So…continuing where I left off…

#4 – Overwhelming – This job can be completely overwhelming! We are asked to teach things that our kids are developmentally not ready for with not nearly enough resources. We are expected to make every moment engaging and fun while also dealing with behavior issues, high maintenance parents, issues kids have at home that carry over into their day (lack of sleep, being hungry, etc), and “extras” in the day that disrupt our normal schedule. We are asked to be part of committees at the school that make decisions about one thing or another. We are asked to attend PTO meetings, PLC meetings, trainings, ARDs and 504 meetings, and staff meetings. We have to be the back up for the nurse, the counselor, and the parents. Our work hours are (at my particular school) 7:15am-3:00pm, but there’s absolutely NO WAY to do all that needs to be done…is expected to be done…in those hours. So we stay late or come in early or take work home with us…and sometimes all three. It’s overwhelming and exhausting before we ever even look at our own personal lives. 

Quite honestly none of it is stuff I mind doing. I want our school to be the best it can be, so I don’t mind being part of extra committees and PTO. I truly want our kids to have what they need physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, so whatever part I can play in that I do willingly. 

It’s easy to get frustrated with the lack of resources and time needed to make everything happen. It’s easy to get frustrated with interruptions to the day. It’s easy to get frustrated with TEKS (the expectations of what we teach) that don’t seem to take child development into consideration. 

So, often I have to have a talk with myself. “Emily, there’s a lot you can’t control and you’ve gotten get over that. Figure out what you CAN control and do it to the best of your ability. And sometimes all you can control is your attitude about what you can’t control.” Sometimes I have to say this to myself a hundred times a day, sometimes only once or twice. Sometimes I get home at the end of the day and think, “Ugh…I tried to control stuff I can’t control today…no wonder I’m frustrated and exhausted.” Now I’m not saying that my job doesn’t have times where it is frustrating and exhausting – that would be a lie. But I do think that I can manage some of it by picking my battles and controlling what I can control…even if that’s only my attitude. 

#5 – Pay – I have for a long time (even before I was a teacher) not understood why teachers are paid so little. NO other job out there is possible without teachers. It makes me sad that people and companies pour millions of dollars into professional sports teams so that the players are making millions a year while the teachers and coaches that taught them and helped them pass their classes so they were eligible to play their sport back when they were younger are barely getting by. I think there’s a fundamental lack of respect and understanding for what teachers do that contributes to the pay scale given to us. 

In addition to being paid poorly, we frequently use our own paychecks to purchase things for our classes and kids. I am blessed to work at a school with an amazingly supportive PTO who helps offset some of those costs, and I know every teacher isn’t that lucky. 

To me, this one is easy. I did not start teaching for a big paycheck, so I will never leave because I don’t get paid enough.

#6 – Kids have changed – This is one I have heard a lot lately. Kids are different now than they were when we were kids. I think this is true…and I think it’s not true. Let me explain. 

First, I think this is true – kids have changed – because the world they live in has changed. Children know how to use computers/electronic devices as young as 2 years old or less. My 16 month old nephew knows there’s something he wants to do on my phone. He doesn’t know what yet, but give him another couple of months and he’ll have it figured out I’m certain. The world these kids will be adults in will be vastly different than it is today because kids know how to use tablets, phones, computers, etc from such a young age. And at the same time, I can’t help but think that it has to fundamentally change the make up of their brains to have access to them at such a young age. So yes, we have created a world in which the kids are just different than they used to be. Evolution. 

Second, kids are not different, parenting is different. Many parents have no problem expecting exceptions to be made to the rules for their child. They blame everyone EXCEPT their child when the child gets in trouble. They want us to teach them, but don’t want to get them to school on time, or they want to pick them up early, or they miss days on end for trips. I don’t remember school being like that for me. Unless I was sick, I was in school on time and stayed all day. If there was a rule, my parents expected me to follow it. If I messed up, you can be sure it was NEVER blamed on my teacher or the other students in the classroom. Parents want to be their kids’ friends…which becomes appropriate at about age 20. Parenting is different, not kids. Kids are simply a result of that parenting. 

I am teaching kids who are going to grow up and have jobs that haven’t even been invented yet! How wild is that?!?! 

I feel like I have a set of life experiences that, when shared with parents, gives me an opportunity to give them new options to consider. Most (not all) of the parents are in their 20s. Every year the gap between my age and the 2nd grade parents’ age grows larger. Many parents do what they do because they don’t know any other way. Most of them are very open to suggestions when handled correctly. I remember being a parent in my 20s, I often felt like I had no idea what I was doing. As a matter of fact, as a parent in my 40s I also feel like I often don’t know what I’m doing. But having gotten 3 kids of my own successfully through elementary school, gives me a little credit with most parents. 

Kids are different. Parenting is different. What’s not different is that it takes a village to raise children. I have had incredible partners in raising my children. I feel like it is my responsibility and my honor to be part of other people’s village. And we don’t give up because it changes…even if it’s hard. 

Ok, again stopping. The storm has slowed down and I’m getting sleepy. I’ll get the the remaining 4 reasons in another post. 

As always, I’m interested in your thoughts and comments. 

I’m avoiding tons of stuff today. Which generally means I’m watching tv (Psych…because I love Gus and Shawn) and scrolling through Facebook and Instagram. 

For some reason I have come across several different different posts, written by totally different non-related people, talking about why they have recently left a profession they love – teaching. And while I am NOT leaving teaching – I find myself relating to most of not ALL of the reasons they are leaving.  So why am I not leaving too? 

I’ve decided (since I’m avoiding stuff today anyway) to take the 10 things I’ve read….and relate to…and give my take on them and maybe see if I can explain why it is that I’m NOT leaving. 

#1 – Class Size – At my school 22 kids is the starting point. Every year at least half, if not more, classes get pushed beyond that. The district tells us we must accept every child. I do understand that I work in a public school and part of that is that we accept all kids. What I don’t understand is how overfilling our classes will help anyone meet the goals of the year. So most years I have about 24 kids in a classroom built in the 1920s intended for more like 18 kids. We trip over each other. I struggle to move around the room to get to everyone. Sitting on the floor together is more like playing a game of sardines. And yet, every year I look at 24 little 7 year old faces and there’s not a single one I can say, “Send that one away.” Yes, there are kids who test me more than others, but honestly when it comes right down to it, I know that Jesus loves each one of them as much as he loves my own precious girls. Knowing that makes it impossible to wish them away. Is having too many kids in a too small classroom easy? Not at all, but it’s not enough to make me leave teaching. 

#2 – Respect – There are a couple of things to say here. First, I will say that I DO feel respected by the administration at my school. I also know that that is not the case at all schools. It breaks my heart to hear other teachers talk about how they are frequently disrespected by their administrators. I regularly have experiences where I am supported by and listened to by the admins on my campus. I do not take that for granted. Second, I feel like the parents at my school are split. There are some parents who I feel have a deep respect for what we do all day. There are also parents who treat us as if we are hired help…more in that later. Ultimately the reason I am not leaving teaching is because it doesn’t matter in the end. It makes life easier and more enjoyable, but I don’t need to feel respected by everyone. My value and self worth doesn’t come from what others think of me or my profession. I believe God put me here because it’s where He wanted me to be and because He has something for me to do here. Who am I to second guess that?

#3 – Testing – Now, I teach 2nd grade so we aren’t subject to all the horrific STAAR testing in my grade. That doesn’t mean I don’t have thoughts on it. 🙂 I have 2 daughters (and one who was in private school so she never had to take them) who have had to go through all this ridiculousness of STAAR. I have watched my colleagues prep their older classes for these tests. I have also administered tests to other classes and small groups. These tests stress kids and teachers. They base way too much on tests that are not reliable. There are too many things that can make or break a kid’s score. Did they sleep well last night? Did they get a good breakfast? Did they have a fight with Mom it Dad this morning? Are they in the middle of a breakup (middle school and high school, obviously)? Do they have test anxiety? What about the kids who are below grade level but have shown a ton of growth this year? I agree we need to have some accountability in place. I just don’t believe that it needs to be these tests. Tests that are written well above the grade level they are testing. Tests that carry entirely too much weight for the teacher and the students. Tests that ultimately are about money. But like I said, I don’t have to give the STAAR test. I still have tests I have to give. Tests that come from the district that are written in a way to confuse most of the time. Tests that have questions that we often have to work together as adults to figure out what they want. Tests. Bleh!!! So why don’t these tests send me running for the hills? Well quite honestly I decided a that I was going to teach the best that I could and my kids would learn as much as they could. If I did that and my test scores weren’t what they needed to be, I’d be ok. I will not be defined, nor will my students, by a single test or set of tests. My kids are creative. They are kind. They are curious. They are artists. They are dancers and musicians. I don’t worry about the tests…I’m not perfect, I do sometimes worry, but my intention is to set that aside and let my kids be the kids they are. I will not let inaccurate tests push me out of teaching. 

Ok this has gotten way longer than I thought. I’m going to stop here for now and come back to some of the other issues (4 – it’s overwhelming, 5 – pay, 6 – kids have changed, 7 – technology vs relationships, 8 – useless trainings, 9 – customer service mindset, 10 -mental and physical health) another day. 

Here’s what I’m sure of…I constantly have to recalculate my attitude and thoughts in order to be the person I want to be. I am not perfect at it, thank goodness I have the opportunities to reflect and recalculate!

As always, I’m interested in your thoughts and comments. 

Summer is officially here for me!!! While everyone else got out of school on Friday, as a teacher I had to go back for one more day today. Of course that didn’t keep me from pretending I was already in summer mode over the weekend with a day at the lake AND a day at the beach.

I set a handful of goals for myself for this summer. One of those was to get back to writing. So…I suppose that means I’m now supposed to be writing. I’ve thought several times about getting on here. Every time there’s this voice in my head that says, “Um…no one cares what you have to say.”

I read recently that not everyone has a non-stop voice in their heads. Some people’s voices are much more discerning about what they say. That BLEW MY MIND! The voice in my head is literally NON-STOP!!! Like seriously every single thought I have the voice in my head has an opinion or a comment on. You don’t all have that little friendly (or sometimes not so friendly) voice commenting on every thought you have?

Sometimes the voice in my head is very helpful. It keeps me from saying things I shouldn’t say. It helps me sort things out. It reminds me of things I might forget otherwise. Sometimes the voice in my head is not so nice. It says things like, “Who cares what you think?” and “No one wants you to be here” and “You aren’t good enough.”

This time that voice has been telling me not to write. Yet, here I am writing. Maybe more babbling? I want to be stronger than the negative voice and I want to listen closely to the positive voice.

I don’t really have anything specific to talk about tonight. I am interested in what some of you might like to hear about from me in the future.

Today was a long day. I closed up my classroom for the summer. For some reason it was a longer and more difficult ordeal than in years past, but it is done now. Three really special and loved co-workers are moving on to something else and I’m very sad to be losing the daily relationship with these friends. My school will not at all be the same with out these three…once again recalculating.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

In what feels like a different lifetime, I wrote a blog regularly. It was called “Giggling Universe” with the tag line that “we plan and the universe giggles”. Plans don’t always go the way we expect. I had 3 very young daughters (ages 8, 2 1/2 and 8 months when I began). I worked in an office. I was married to my high school sweetheart.

Recently I have had several people either remind me of that blog or ask if I write. I took that as a sign that perhaps I should be writing again.

I’m in an entirely different place now. I think that my original blog title was the perfect title because I definitely had plans….and the universe most definitely thought those plans were laughable.

I am now the mother of a young adult and 2 high school daughters (ages 23, 17, and 15). I am a 2nd grade teacher. I am divorced.

I recently saw this on Facebook.

And my first thought was “uh…yeah…” and then I thought “that’s pretty much all of life, not just parenthood.”

We’ve all been driving somewhere and make a wrong turn and the GPS says it’s recalculating, which is really just a nice way to say “You screwed this up and now I’m going to fix it for you.” Occasionally my GPS doesn’t understand that I’m doing exactly what it told me to do and it says recalculating anyway….and puts me right back on the road I was already on. At that point though, it has my attention and I’m paying closer attention because I don’t want to be on the wrong road. And sometimes, I’m on a road and make a conscious decision to make a change in route and my GPS recalculates.

I don’t always know what the right road is. I don’t always know how to parent. I don’t always do the right thing. I don’t always make the right choices. But, deep in the center of my being, in my heart of hearts, I WANT to be on the right road, I WANT to parent the right way, I WANT to do the right thing. I also know that recalculating doesn’t mean I was necessarily doing it wrong the first time, but sometimes I get new information and I can choose a new way and recalculate my path.

This blog will likely be me figuring those things out. Processing “out loud” so to speak. And…it’s likely that this will evolve as I go. So feel free to comment with any thoughts you have along the way, ask questions, or just take it in…in any case I’m glad you’re here and I’m excited about writing again.